My boss sprang for the Google Search Appliance, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt. Well, that and 2 years so far of good search results on the site, after languishing for years with an embarrassingly bad pretender, plus a set of pretty minor monitoring duties and a million & three nifty configuration options to play with. It also promises many excellent functions that we've not begun to approach using, according to training last fall, but we will very soon, I feel quite sure. So go me!

But wtf? You pony up your five-figure fee for the 2-year contract, and you get a big carton with the black box hardware* and an install CD plus a few odds & ends. And you get a T-shirt. Because that's going to clinch the deal right there.

I mean it's stylish & all, as T-shirts go, but it has as much to do with the purchase as a ribbon tied onto the tail of a pig has to do with bacon for breakfast. At least they got the size correct. And I have something to wear on the exhibit floor next time I hit ALA.

*The self-contained server (some Dell model with all the software preinstalled) is painted bright yellow with the familiar logo and a swoopy pattern of holes across the front for airflow. This amazing result raised deep & genuine concern with the main network guy when he opened the box. He came to me and asked, in a hushed and nearly stunned tone, "Did you know it was YELLOW???" But it's still the black box of all black boxes, configuration options notwithstanding. If it keeps delivering the goods, I'm OK with that.

PS: If you have to deal with Google Enterprise support, try to get in touch with Kaumudee. This woman is the absolute Goddess of Computer Functionality -- I mean she actually reads the tickets you submit!!! How friggin' cool is that??