Dear Other Driver,

You know that thing you do, where we're both merging onto a new road and you're behind me on the ramp and the instant you get clear, you suddenly swerve around from behind and swoop up to block me from merging onto the same road because you're so absolutely desperate to go 5 mph faster than I'm currently going? Well, when you do that you demonstrate arrogance and self-absorption so complete that they effectively negate your privilege even to continue breathing, in my humble opinion, let alone to drive on the same roads as sensible people. You know, my 13 year old car is carrying 180,000 miles, and it's pretty solid so I'd do pretty well in any collision, plus I'm well-insured. You might want to think about those facts as you're deciding whether to behave like the complete asshole you so clearly are. Go back home and kick your dog instead. The worst you'll get from that is a nasty bite to the ankle -- which, by the way, you will richly deserve.

Fuck you,
Booker