So last evening, mixed in with the Mexican food and fine funk, I get this smack from the cluebat, courtesy of my pal from work, Melissa. She tells me that someone -- she refuses to say who -- came to her asking whether I'm gay, since I wear that pink scarf. Um. what?
It's on the flamboyant side, clearly, and it's undeniably pink as hell. Personally, I think that works really well with the black frock coat. The coat is all about the somber dignity of yesteryear, and over the top of it is this scarf. Ivy knitted it for me, and I like it, so I wear it. WTF is the problem with that??
I've known that people at work have issues with it. Lots of them have said "Nice scarf!" often with some question in their eyes. I've attributed that doubt to the fact that it's just not what they're used to seeing. And I've had hints that it's a bigger deal for some, when a couple of guys have asked, "So what's with the scarf??" all disbelieving, like it's something completely bizarre. But I've dismissed those comments because both of them are negligible clowns whose opinions on just about anything have no value for me. But apparently the issue is deeper than I've suspected, as the scarf is a subject of discussion and concern rather than just a quick questioning look.
Funny thing is, this 'gay' scarf is actually a massive chick magnet. I wore it during a First Friday gallery crawl when Yahoo no. 2 was in town, and ALL the women running those galleries hurried up to admire the scarf, pet it, grin at me all stoopid-like. So as I count the score, it appears to be art broads 1, possibly homophobic suburbanite cow-orkers 0.
It's weird, though, because the cow-orkers deal regularly with some obviously gay colleagues. One is quite a popular guy, mostly because he's a sociable, outgoing sort and gets along with most everyone. Another is less popular, and he's on the dour and nonsociable side. So people are judging by the content of character to some extent rather than superficial appearance. Why does that not extend to this scarf?
My only issues with it have to do with its three-dimensional profile. The wind catches it and tosses it off my shoulder if I'm not careful, for one thing. For another, when I tuck it inside the coat, it puffs out the front in a big way. That's a problem mainly because I'm already filling up the front of the coat puh-lenty, and my vanity doesn't want the belly seeming any bigger. I can deal with the vanity problem, but it's certainly there.
Melissa herself argues that I should highlight the coat itself and that the scarf tends to overshadow it. I made the coat myself from a vintage pattern created by disassembling an 1890s garment, and it came out well. The coat itself works well for me, I think, and that opinion is confirmed by a couple of people with the background to make that judgment. But dammit, the scarf still shows up well against that background, and I like it. I'ma continue to wear it. I am very certainly not backing down from the goofballs at work who are comfortable only with stuff they've seen before. That is totally THEIR problem, and in fact I'm probably doing them a favor by expanding their awareness and comfort zone.